I recently read Atomic Habits by James Clear. It was a good read, with some key take-aways, for me anyway, listed here. These are direct quotes from the first two chapters of the book:

“Breakthrough moments are often the result of many previous actions, which build up the potential required to unleash major change.”

“A hallmark of any compounding process: the most powerful outcomes are delayed.”

“It’s hard to change a habit if you never change the underlying beliefs that led to your past behavior… The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity.”

“True behavior change is identity change.”

My favorite: “Progress requires UNLEARNING.” And “meaningful change does not require radical change.“

“Habits are about becoming someone… you become your habits.”

Post George Floyd, like many non-racialized folks, I took a look in the mirror and asked some serious questions to myself. I was stuck at home, unable to move about due to the pandemic, and everywhere I looked, there was unrest. There were marches all over the world and I thought to myself: “What have I been missing all these years? Is it really this bad?” After some time, and lots of work (which continues btw), I realized it’s worse….

Without delving into my realizations around anti-racism and oppression – two “woke” terms – I came up with the expression “thought habits”. And I just Googled “thought habits” and apparently, I did not make this term up: Do you notice that you think the same way, over and over? Or perhaps you notice you think the same thoughts over and over. Those are thought habits. Once those habits start, they become invisible. Your thoughts keep following the same pathway (in fact, the same neuronal pathway). So much for being a thought leader….

Whatever habit it is that you want to break – snacking after school/work, getting off your phone before bed, recalibrating what you think of others – it takes time (remember yesterday’s blog about time?). And it takes work. You have to be deliberate about changing habits. You have to be deliberate about change. And no change is too small. Just start somewhere.

Here’s my challenge to you: consider a thought habit of yours that you want to change. Write it down. Now find a friend you can help you break this pattern. Find someone who can hold you to account and support your unlearning. Start small. But start today.