“Millennials… report having zero friends (22%), zero close friends (27%) and zero acquaintances (25%).” This data comes from Minda Zetlin’s September 2019 article entitled “Millennials Are the Loneliest Generation, a Survey Shows”. You can read it here:
One key talking point on any of my teams is relationships; this is one of the pillars of my Triad for Team Performance (more on this latter). The foundation of any relationship is trust. Trust is built upon communication; it must be clear and concise. State what you need from people to get what you need from people. As soon as there is a breakdown in communication, there is a breakdown in the relationship. Can you think of a time when there might have been an exception to this?
A few years ago, I read Grit by Angela Duckworth. This resonated with me: “Communication isn’t just the transmission of information. It’s also sending and receiving emotions. Don’t assume that the richness of human interaction can be tapped out on a keyboard. Do have real conversations—on the phone or in person—whenever possible.”
Most “young people” don’t do this. They don’t share in what I call “casual connections”. “Young people” feel lonely because they don’t make time to meet. They don’t plan coffee dates. They don’t plan to just talk. They live in a world where they’re constantly sent notifications and reminders of things that they’re supposed to be doing. But they’re not reminded to set aside time to plan things that they should actually be doing. They are not building relationships. Relationships take time, and effort. Relationships become friendships. We are social beings. We need human connection. Relationships permit us to live fuller lives. Relationships make us happy.
An important initiative I started with a team in 2019, initially intended to develop leadership and character skills, was Book Club. Team members are divided into small groups based primarily on their leadership role on the team. (More to come about leadership – another pillar to the Triad.) Sessions may include a guest – a mentor or business leader from the community, an alum, an athlete from a different team, a friend to the program. We create an environment for casual connections. We are intentional about making connections meaningful.
Organizing Book Club helped me recognize that “young people” need more casual connections in their lives. Their calendars are so full. And when they don’t have anything to do, they can spend time scrolling social media to fill their time. To fill a void. These casual connections are pivotal for their social development and, as a result, their happiness. As much as coaches want to win games, they want the athletes under their care to lead happy and healthy lives. To do that, they need healthy relationships. Book Club is just a small way to support that process.
Reach out if you’d like to know more about Book Club. We rarely read actually books and I’d be happy to share curriculum ideas with you for your team – sports or business or personal.
The Boyd Effect 
Leave a comment